What does a stage manager do exactly?  I could say something trite and vague like “manages the talent” {yawn} but why not exercise the creative side of my brain by creating a list of some things that come across my “to-do” list daily?

And in the spirit of Christmas….

In the last weeks of rehearsal my bossman gave to me:

1 Director

2 Dogs

3 Kitchens

4 Assistants

5 Sound Minidisks

6 Members of the Cast

7 Parts of a Scenic Trick

8 Liquids that Appear Onstage

9 Rolls of Tape

10 Hours of Work Each Day

11 Furniture Units on Wheels

12 Days of Christmas… a Musical “Button” to the End of Act 2

Are you curious now?  Does my job seem absurd?  If you have a few more seconds then here are more details.  If not, see you opening night!

1 Director — The artistic guru, the person whom I report directly to for scheduling, tech notes, cueing, etc.  (in this case, Sabin Epstein)

2 Dogs — Sabin’s dog, Emma, can be found quietly minding her p’s and q’s beneath the director’s table.  Dog #2 is a special guest Chihuahua named Titus who belongs to the fight director, Gefe.  We have a few harrowing moments with knives that require fight expertise.  The dogs get along, by the way.

3 Kitchens — The play has 3 acts that each take place in a different kitchen: OCD ships galley, unkempt disaster zone (enhanced by some bits with a dog), and antique Victorian/turned dance club

4 Assistants — Rebecca, Dennis, Katrina, and Cassie all track props, fetch rehearsal clothes, take line notes, choreograph one kitchen moving offstage and the next kitchen taking its place, and nod and smile when I ask them to do something that makes no sense at all.

5 Sound Minidisks — Cues pivotal to rehearsal: rain, dog barks and growls (Emma doesn’t like those), party chatter, doorbells, and Scottish reels.

6 Members of the Cast — The 6 actors play 3 married couples and boy are there some classic marital moments.  And some bits with a dog.

7 Parts of a Scenic Trick — The main body, the bulb, the shade, screws, fake wires, a socket, and pyro…. can’t disclose further details.

8 Liquids that Appear Onstage — Sherry, coke, gin, scotch, tonic wine (higher alcohol content than traditional wine), brandy, water, and bitter lemons (Brit soda).

9 Rolls of Tape — Painters tape (to spike paint-sensitive surfaces), masking tape (to label props tables), black gaff tape (fixes anything), and 6 colors of spike tape (yellow, red, green, blue, aqua, and hot pink).

10 Hours of Work Each Day — On a good day.

11 Furniture Units on Wheels — Various combos of kitchen cabinetry, appliances, and countertops that roll on and offstage in scene shifts thanks to a pressurized air tank (and some smart carpenters).

12 Days of Christmas —  You have to see Act 2 to appreciate this traditional Christmas carol, and the bit with a dog.

Time to shut off the laptop now and get some shuteye before the next day of absurdity!

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