By Meghan Wolf, actress playing Desdemona in Othello, Denver Center Theatre Company

This week I have been exploring Desdemona’s innocence and purity, which appears as fairly extreme to our modern, feminist sensibilities. At the turn of the century, even more than when the play was written, women were exceedingly obedient, so all of my modern impulses to stand up for myself are not appropriate here. Instead, we are focusing on the intention of being loving toward Othello, through and despite his mistreatment of Desdemona. The thinking is that the more Desdemona loves Othello, the more devastating the disintegration of their love will be.

It is very counter-intuitive to literally turn the other cheek; I want to fight back! But I am enjoying investigating these unfamiliar choices and foreign states of mind. One of the reasons I became an actor was to fathom the endless variety with which individuals experience and interface with reality. To do so in a way very different from my own is a valuable learning experience.

The questions I’m asking now concern Desdemona’s relationship with her innocence and purity: “Does she feel and suppress the impulse to fight back? Is she aware of the cultural attractiveness of purity in women and if so, does she consciously (or sub-consciously) utilize it to please her husband?” My actor’s instincts tell me that any awareness of innocence would undermine it…but it’s an interesting question.

Part of my training taught me to marry my actor’s inner experience with what the character is going through moment to moment. For example: if a moment in the play makes the actor feel self-conscious, then in that moment, the character feels self-conscious too. If the character’s behavior or words in that same moment happen to convey a contradictory state (say, self-assured), then the actor can play that the character is trying to appear self-assured through the presenting feelings of self-consciousness. It may sound like a fractured cerebral process but it is actually pretty intuitive and, when it works, can produce a satisfying seamlessness between actor and character states.

On a technical note, I am working against a contraindicated physical reaction right now as well, specifically in the final scene of the play. When playing the recipient of death by smothering, the impulse is to stop breathing. But holding my breath throughout the choking would result in gasping for air once I am finally ‘dead’…which would kind of kill that illusion. Remembering to keep breathing while playing suffocation like is like patting your head and rubbing your stomach! I will have to practice this a lot.

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By Meghan Wolf, actress playing Desdemona in Othello, Denver Center Theatre Company

Well, the fun and games are over…on to death.

OTHELLO playing Mar 26 - May 31 at The Denver Center

It’s one thing to read the scenes around the table and yet another to embody them. The former is a more theoretical process, closer to story-telling, and the latter is much more personal, like actually living it! This is part of why I love acting – it is a privilege to get to shoot back in time to another era and take on the spirit of another life, let her live (and die) through me…it is thrilling. But it is also sad. To fight for one’s life and love and, ultimately lose..? This is part of the journey and it is a journey I am excited for. However, it is necessarily heart-breaking. If I don’t break my heart every night in this show, I am not doing the story justice.

So, I bought myself flowers, chocolate and wine this week. I know no better remedies for a broken heart…

In my off-time, I’ve been exploring downtown with my little dog, Lilly. This week we have been reveling in this incredibly beautiful weather (and I’ve been reveling in the chance to rub it in to my poor snow-bound friends back in NYC).

I am still getting used to living closer to the sun – learning how not to burn rice at a mile high, taking it slow in yoga class.

I’ve started reading a massive tomb called Victorian Women, which is adding to my imaginative fodder for the life of the corseted lady. (Did I mention that our Othello is set at the turn of the century?) From the chapter entitled “Forming the lady: Comportment and dress for young women” comes this advice: “The gait of a woman should be neither too fast nor too slow….Her expression must be sweet and modest. It is not in good taste for a woman to speak with too much animation or too loudly….” I, of course will need to balance these restraints with the demands of a theatrical production. I must be heard, after all, and some animation will be required so as not to bore my audience to death! This is a delicious challenge. Part of the actor’s task is to absorb the given circumstances of the world of the play and then balance verisimilitude therein with the presentation of that world to an audience. Luckily, I have help – my director will keep a sharp eye on this balance with me.

Today is the day I will don my rehearsal corset. We are working a bit of violence this afternoon and I must get accustomed to falling to my knees within its bony grasp..!
 

It will be a perpetual Valentine’s Day for me until further notice. You may send flowers, chocolate, or wine to me at the theatre and thanks in advance.

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By Meghan Wolf, actress playing Desdemona in Othello, Denver Center Theatre Company

This week we moved from table and script work to blocking, which means we got up on our feet for the first time!

Working with Robert Jason Jackson (our Othello) is like dancing with a very skilled leader. I am grateful to be in such excellent hands. He even literally swept me off my feet in one scene — keep your eyes peeled for that move in the performance.

Today we blocked a particularly thrilling staging moment, the “bar room brawl.” Our fight director, Geoff Kent, had the exacting challenge of choreographing chaos while keeping everyone safe. He managed to create something both graceful and deadly looking — it was pretty riveting!

Playing in the round is such a unique adventure; we must act with our whole body (as always, yet even more so). In the round, we must employ a lot of “back acting,” etc. It is a great work for honing our instrument from every angle.

To help find Desdemona’s stance and stride, I’m wearing long skirts and little lace-up booties with a small heel to rehearsal. Soon, the costume shop will make a rehearsal corset available to me to help me get used to being squeezed to death on a daily basis. (I’m hoping that happens later rather than sooner..wink, wink.)

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By Meghan Wolf, actress playing Desdemona in Othello, Denver Center Theatre Company

Today we worked on the DEATH SCENE! Talked about the heart of this tragedy — that, despite the strength it exhibited in smashing the convention of the times, Desdemona and Othello’s love never gets a chance to grow…but is the true tragedy that it was destined to fail from the start? We discussed where exactly in the script Desdemona starts to believe that her life is in peril and (spoiler alert!) the various ways we might stage the putting out of her light. Nice, light drama on a snowy afternoon!

From rehearsal, I went to the costume shop where I got to glide around in mock-ups of the most fabulous clothes. The lines are elegant yet girly and promise to be delicious to play in. The super tight corset and low-heeled, lace-up boots were already giving me a lot of information about movement (and lack thereof).

Tomorrow, Robert and I shoot some promo footage in the morning – looking forward to playing on our feet if only for a few hours! Keep your eyes peeled for our commercial when it airs .

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